Oh Ryder...

So, the running joke has always been (and probably always will be) that when you do something absolutely horrible to your child (on accident! Not abuse...), you should receive the "parent of the year award". In the 16 months that Ryder has been on this earth, I should have over 200 awards, at least. I'll name a few here...

• At 5 days old, he was poked, prodded, catheterized, and eventually wound up with an IV coming out his forehead (after I FOUGHT them not toshave his head! I won.) because I had a raging Group A Strep infection (not Group B, which is pretty common at birth). We both received HIGH doses of antibiotics for 4 days in the hospital and I continued IV antibiotics for an additional 10 days at home. Poor Ryder.

• He started crawling around 4-5 months. I had taken him upstairs with me to get something in my room. He wasn't THAT fast of a crawler yet so I didn't even THINK to shut my door. About 5 seconds later, I heard it. The tumbling and banging. I remember thinking "Oh God, PLEASE let that be a toy that Payton just threw down!". About 2 seconds after the tumbling stopped, I held my breath, hoping to not hear screaming. I heard it. He had fallen down the stairs!!!!!

• At 7 months old (March 2010), I found out that I was starving him. Payton was a small baby (14 pounds at 1 year old), so it was no surprise that Ryder was small. At 7 months, he weighed 14 pounds so he was ahead of Payton (YAY!). I wasn't concerned and neither was the pediatrician. I had taken him at 6 months for his well baby check up and he was just over 15 pounds. I started cereal with him as well during that month to attempt to get him to sleep thru the night. At 7 months, we had a WIC appointment and they weighed him. He was just BARELY 14 pounds. I panicked but said nothing to WIC because they would have probably called CPS on me or something... I called the pediatricians office, explained what happened, and they had me come do a weight check. Sure enough, he'd lost weight. So, the dr had me nurse as long as Ryder wanted and then weighedhim again. He gained 3-5oz.... That's NOT enough for a 7 month old! So, the pediatrician said I had to supplement with formula. That would have been perfect if I had a baby that would actually TAKE a bottle.... So, I was forced to stop nursing, cold turkey. :( I cried for a few days. The guilt I felt was overwhelming. He was STARVING and it was my fault! The next 3 days were filled with days and nights of screaming while I forced a bottle in his mouth, squeezing it so the formula would dribble down his throat. I felt terrible. What mother starves her child!? What mother is so disconnected that she doesn't even know she's not making enough milk for him!? Me. :( Needless to say, he drinks just fine from a bottle now (still...) and is healthy and fat. :)

• About 6 weeks later, on Mother's Day, we were walking around Target and I was holding him. He wasn't wanting to be in his carseat so that was the logical option, until, I DROPPED HIM. Seriously? At least it was on carpet but still. Poor Ryder!

• Shortly following the Target incident, he had another tumble down our 17 million stairs. Way to go MOM!

• I'm not going to even COUNT the multiple head wounds he's had... It's just not right.

• Fast forward to 2 nights ago... We were headed to a birthday party for one of Payton's buddies, Keaton. The daycare kids were late leaving (of course!) so we were in a hurry. I slipped on socks and shoes on Ryder and off we went. About 45 minutes after we'd been at the party, Ryder was unnaturally fussy and starting to scream. He's had a never-ending cold for the last 3 weeks with a NASTY cough, so I figured he just wasn't feeling well. We came home. He screamed the entire way home. This is the kid that doesn't ever really cry, except for when he's hungry or tired. He's so even-keeled. There was definitely something wrong and it was a hurt cry--not a hungry or tired cry. So, I got him home and laid him down to change his diaper, thinking it was that. He was grabbing at his shoe. As I took his shoe off, I noticed that his toe was curled UNDER his foot! The sock had caught it and he wasn't strong enough to straighten it out. In my hurriedness to get out the door, I didn't pay any attention to that. I mean, really, how often does that happen?! It's a first for me! So, I got his sock off and his screams were getting worse. My initial thought was that it was broken because he SCREAMED when I touched it. I didn't bend it, I just touched it. After a minute or so, he was calming down and I was able to move it. Tom was holding him and his eyes rolled back in his head. He was done. All the crying plus 2 hours late to bedtime made for a super sleepy baby. So, I got his jammies on and then just held him while tears ran down my face. I felt (and still feel) terrible! Who does that?! Just me.

• The never ending cold... About 3 weeks ago, Payton had a cough/runny nose and it cleared up within a few days. As his was clearings, Ryder's started. Of course. They share everything! So, I just knew I needed to buckle down and accept that I'd be snotted on for 3 days and then it would be over. After a week and a half, accompanied by LOTS of crankiness and disgusting other things, I took him to the pediatrician. I was concerned that his ears were infected because he was SO cranky and the snot was just not letting up. The dr said he was fine, wrote me a rx but told me he wasn't sure if it was viral or bacterial so it might not even help. I HATE antibiotics, so I waited a few days to make sure he wasn't going to get worse, and then threw the rx away. I didn't even fill it. The NIGHT after I threw the rx away, Ryder woke up in the middle of the night (1-ish?) crying. He's been sleeping thru the night for a long time now so I was NOT going to get up and give him a bottle. I had done that the night before because he had been with a babysitter and I wasn't sure what he had for dinner, how much he'd eaten, or how much bottle he'd drank before bed. He was hungry. So, I wasn't wanting to start a habit... He eventually stopped crying and we all went back to sleep. The following morning, I went in to get him and found him and his sheets COVERED in dried puke. Yep. He had been coughing so hard that he'd puked and just wanted me. :( I cried, again. Poor Ryder. The coughing got worse. So, I took him back into the dr yesterday and he wrote me another rx for the same medicine. This time, I filled it. His hacking/puking has to stop! It's not in his lungs but it's hanging out in his throat, which makes the cough sound terrible and also is what's making him gag and puke.

I really hope he makes it to his 2nd birthday!